This Mystree Rite is not required for initiation, but it is offered by
many POEE Priest to proselytes who desire a formal ceremony.
1. The Priest and four Brothers are arranged in a pentagon with the
Initiate in the center facing the Priest. If possible, the Brothers
on the immediate right and left of the Priest should be Deacons. The
Initiate must be totally naked, to demonstrate that he is truly a
human being and not something else in dusguise like a cabbage or
2. All persons in the audience and the pnetagon, excepting the
Priest, assume a squatting position and return to a standing position.
This is repeated four more times. This dance is symbolic of the
humility of we Erisians.
3. The Priest begins:
I, (complete holy name, with mystical titles, and degrees,
designations, offices, etc.), Ordained Priest of the Paratheo-
anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric, with the Authority invested in me
by the High Priest of It, Office of the Polyfather, the House of the
Rising Podge, POEE Head Temple; do herewith require of ye:
1. Are ye a human being and not a cabbage or something? (The
Initiate answers, "Yes.")
2. That's too bad. Do ye wish to better thyself? (The Initiate
3. How stupid. Are ye willing to become philosophically
illuminized? (He answers, "Yes.")
4. Very funny. Will ye dedicate yeself to the Holy Erisian
Movement? (The Initiate answers, "Probably.")
5. Then swear ye the following after me: (The Priest here leads
the Initiate in a recital of THE ERISIAN AFFIRMATION.) The
Priest continues: Then I do here proclaim ye POEE disciple
(name), Legionnaire of Dynamic Discord. Hail Eris! Hail
hail! Hail yes!
4. All present rejoice grandly. The new Brother opens a large jug of
wine and offers it to all who are present.
5. The Ceremony generally degenerates.
Mord says that Omar DO NOT PULL
says that we are ON YELLOW TIP
all unicorns anyway
3. And though Omar did bid of the Collector of
Garbage, in words that were both sweet and
bitter, to surrender back the cigar box containing
the cards desginated by the Angel as the Honest
Book of Truth, the Collector was to him as one
who might be smitted deaf, saying only, 'Gainst
the rules, y'know.
HBT; The Book of Explanations, Chap. 2
1. Harry Houdini
2. Swing music
4. 8 months
5. Testy Culbert
6. It protrudes
7. No vocal cords
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