In the Los Angeles suburb of Whittier there lives a bowling alley, and
within this very place, in the Year of Our Lady of Discord 3125
(1959*), Eris revealed Herself to The Golden Apple Corps for the first

    In honor of this Incredible Event, this Holy Place is revered as a
Shrine by all Erisians.  Once every five years, the Golden Apple Corps
plans a Pilgrimage to Brunswick Shrine as an act of Devotion, and
therein to partake of No Hot Dog Buns, and ruminate a bit about It

    It is written that when The Corps returns to The Shrine for the
fifth time five times over, then shall the world come to an end:

                           ...Impending doom
                            has arrived...

         And Five Days Prior to This Occasion The Apostle The Elder
    Malaclypse Shall Walk the Streets of Whittier Bearing a Sign for
    All Literates to Read Thereof:  "DOOM," as a Warning of
    Forthcoming Doom to All Men Impending.  And He Shall Signal This
    Event by Seeking the Poor and Distributing to Them Precious MAO
    BUTTONS and Whittier Shall be Known as The Region of Thud for
    These Five Days.

As a public service to all mankind and civilization in general, and to
us in particular, the Golden Apple Corps has concluded that planning
such a Pilgrimage is sufficient and that it is prudent to never get
around to actually going.                                        _
                                                     QUIET NIGHT S c/o


* Or maybe it was 1958, I forget.

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