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ERISIAN MAGIC RITUAL:

THE TURKEY CURSE

    Revealed by the Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo as a specific counter to
the evil Curse of Greyface, the TURKEY CURSE is here passed on to
Erisians everywhere for their just protection.

    The Turkey Curse works.  It is firmly grounded on the fact that
Greyface and his followers absolutely require an Aneristic setting to
function and that a timely introduction of Eristic vibrations will
neutralize their foundation.  The Turkey Curse is designed solely to
counteract _negative_ Aneristic vibes and if introduced into a neutral
or positive Aneristic setting (like a poet working out word rhythms)
it will prove harmless, or at worst, simply annoying.  It is not
designed for use against negative _Eristic_ vibes, although it can be
used as an Eristic vehicle to introduce positive vibes into a
misguided Eristic setting.  In this instance, it would be the
responsibility of the Erisian Magician to manufacture the positive
vibrations if results are to be achieved.  CAUTION -- all magic is
powerful and requires courage and integrity on the part of magician. 
This ritual, if misused, can backfire.  Positive motivation is
essential for self-protection.

TO PERFORM THE TURKEY CURSE:

    Take a foot stance as if you were John L. Sullivan preparing for
fisticuffs.  Face the particular greyface you wish to short-circuit,
or towards the direction of the negative Aneristic vibration that you
wish to neutralize.  Begin waving your arms in any elaborate manner
and make motions with your hands as though you were Mandrake feeling
up a sexy giantess.  Chant, loudly and clearly:

                GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE!

The results will be instantly apparent.