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                       CHAPTER 5:  THE PIONEERS


THE FIVE APOSTLES OF ERIS & WHO THEY BE

1.  HUNG MUNG
A sage of Ancient China and Official Discordian Missionary to the
Heathen Chinee.  He who originally devised THE SACRED CHAO.  Patron of
The Season of Chaos.  Holyday:  5 Jan.

2.  DR. VAN VAN MOJO
A Head Doctor of Deep Africa and Maker of Fine Dolls.  D.H.V., "Doctor
of Voodoo and Vexes," from The Greater Metropolitan Yorba Linda Jesus
Will Save Your Bod Home Study Bible School; and F.I.H.G.W.P., "Fellow
of the Intergalactic Haitian Guerillas for World Peace."  Patron of
The Season of Discord.  Holyday:  19 Mar.
Note:  Erisians of The Laughing Christ sect are of the silly
contention that Dr. Mojo is an imposter and that PATAMUNZO LINGANANDA
is the True Second Apostle.  Lord Omar claims that Mr. Mojo heaps
hatred and curses on Patamunzo, who sends only Love Vibrations in
return.  But we have the POEE sect know that Patamunzo is the Real
Imposter, and that those vibrations of his are actually an attempt to
subvert Dr. Mojo's rightful apostilic authority by shaking him out of
his wits.

3.  SRI SYA-DASTI SYA-DAVAK-TAVYA SYA-DASTI-SYA-NASTI SYA-DASTI-DAVAK-
TAV-YASKA SYA-DASTI-SYA-NASTI-SYA-DAVAK-TAV-YASKA SYA-DASTI-SYA-NASTI-
SYA-DAVAK-TAV-YASKA, commonly just called SRI SYADASTI
(His name is Sanskrit, and means:  All affirmations are true in some
sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false
in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and
meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some
sense.)  He is an Indian pundit and prince, born of the Peyotl Tribe,
son of Gentle Chief Sun Flower Seed and the squaw Merry Jane.  Patron
to psychedelic type Discordians.  Patron of The Season of Confusion. 
Holyday:  31 May.
Note:  Sri Syadasti should not be confused with BLESSED ST. GULIK THE
STONED, who is not the same person but is the same Apostle.

4.  ZARATHUD THE INCORRIGIBLE, sometimes called ZARATHUD THE STAUNCH
A hard nosed hermit of Medieval Europe and Chaosphe Bible Banger. 
Dubbed "Offender of the Faith."  Discovered the Five Commandments. 
Patron of The Season of Bureaucracy.  Holyday:  12 Aug.

5.  THE ELDER MALACLYPSE
A wandering wiseman of Ancient Mediterrania ("Med-Terra" or middle
earth), who followed a five-pointed star through the alleys of Rome,
Damascus, Baghdad, Jerusalem, Mecca, and Cairo, bearing a sign that
seemed to read "DOOM."  (This is a misunderstanding.  The sign
actually read, "DUMB."  Mal-1 was a non-prophet.)  Patron and namesake
of Mal-2.  Patron on The Season of Aftermath.  Holyday:  24 Oct.


All statements are true in some sense, The teachings of the Sri Syadasti School
false in some sense, meaningless in    of Spiritual Wisdom are true in some
some sense, true and false in some     sense, false in some sense, meaningless
sense, true and meaningless in some    in some sense, true and false in some
sense, and true and false and          sense, true and meaningless in some
meaningless in some sense.  A public   sense, and true and false and
service clarification by the Sri       meaningless in some sense.  Patamunzo
Syadasti School of Spiritual Wisdom,   Lingananda School of Higher Spiritual
Wilmette.                              Wisdom, Skokie.